Journey of 2019

Assalamualaikum and hi to all my readers, hmm rasanya macam dah lama sangat ni tak update blog. Last update sem lepas rasanya. Dia langsung tak teringat tu sebab sem ni ada fyp and intern. So thats why langsung tak sempat nak update or jenguk. Dia free masa week final je. Hehehehe. Time tu jela tiba tiba nak update blog la, nak edit video la, nak edit gambar la, nak betulkan laptop la, nak format la haa time tulaaa. Heh!!

Untuk entry kalini ni just nak share sepanajang perjalanan hidup 2019 ni. Hmmm rasanya tahun ni banyak sangat tragedi hah termasuk lah yang aku masuk hospital. HAHAHAHA sorry la lembik sangat masa tu. Tak tau nak kuat macam mana. Tapi takpa la ada hikmah semua yang jadi. Ye betul saya lebih kuat selepas itu!! hmmmm kot lah. Okay yang tu tak payah cerita further la, sebab sedih sangat. So kita move on. Selain dari tu gak, hmm masa intern i got job offer kat situ, boss suruh kerja terus kat situ tapi i kennot sebab i ada lagi semester nak kena habiskan. Tapi takpalaada rezeki tak kemana. Ye dok?? Lambat ke cepat ke in shaa Allah ada rezeki dia.

For who still stay with me, thank you sebab bersabar dengan aku! Thanks for not giving up with me. And sorry kalau aku memg ada buat sesiapa terasa especially my close friend. Im so sorry. Before this 2019 ends, i want to say sorry to all of you yang kenal i and yang i kenal, cause sometimes kita tak sedar kita dah buat orang sakit hati secara sengaja atau tak. Sebab tu kita tak boleh nak rasa yang kita sentiasa betul. Kadang benda mcm ni pun boleh jadi isu besar, sebab apa? Sebab kita tak rasa yang kita ni salah. Ye tak nak cakap lebih, tapi pada hakikatnya benda tu la yang berlaku, even to myself!

Actually, banyak je benda yang berlaku sepanjang tahun 2019 ni, kalau nak diceritakan satu persatu boleh dah buat novel rasanya. Just that i just make a summary so you guys take it as a lessons or just  bed time story. First of all, i learnt no too soft hearted. Hmmmm?? Acano tu eh? Okay macam ni lah, aku ni jenis dia cepat kesian even tak pernah pikir pun perasaan sendiri, tp yela aku rasa benda ni clishe, semua orang ada buat mcm tu kan. Tapi yela kita manusia, cepat ada perasaan kesian kat orang sebab kita rasa tak sampai hati. Secara logiknya, bila kita react macam tu, at the end kita akan rasa menyesal sebab bagi kita macam tak worth it pun. Yes! Kalau orang tu buat taik kat kita la cerita dia. Tapi semua orang tahu, kita tak boleh nak expect yang orang akan layan kita sama macam kita layan orang tu. Ok aku cakap general je okay. So bila kita expect too high, sumpah kita yang rasa sakit. Yes! Aku yakin semua orang tahu semua benda ni, tapi pada hakikatnya semua orang hanya tahu tp tk semua orang akan mampu buat secara consistent. Yang dimaksudkan secara consistent kat sini, untuk kita mengelakkan daripada hati kita sakit and dibuli je. Sometimes mesti kita rasa takapala biar jelah. Tu yang makin lama kita boleh tawar hati and tak ambil kisah langsung. So untuk mengelakkan benda mcm ni berlaku, kita ikut kemampuan kita and kita kena tgk effect dia macam mana. So korang kena fikir kedepan sikit lah.

Tu memang apa yang aku dapat concludekan kan untuk tahun ni. Actually takde bende sangat pun nak di share. Sebab semua orang ada perjalanan hidup masing masing yang lagi menarik dari aku. Cuma aku berharap kita takkan buat kesilapan yang sama! Menyesal kemudian hari dah tak berguna dah! Apa apa pun setiap apa yang berlaku semua bersebab, tak kisah la kecik ke besar semua ada sebab tersendiri. Percayalah! Kalau bukan sekarang, nanti!

Last but not least, jangan tinggal surah al-Mulk ye geng! in shaa Allah kita sentiasa di bawah lindunganNya. :)

Little do you know!

Good evening everyone! Welcome to my diary! :')

So, what topic that we are going to discuss for this entry? Hmm i really do not have any specific topic actually. But here we go! Little do you know that anxiety attack will ruin our life. Just want to share about this cause currently it often attack me immediately. Okay, anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. I always feel nervous to do something that it rarely happen. Okay maksudnya, i akan selalu rasa nervous bila something tu jarang berlaku or selalu berlaku. Tak kisah la secara apa sekalipun. So benda tu sangat mengganggu mental kita. Then, anxiety can occur when a person fears that something bad is going to happen. It is a non-medical term that refers to a feeling of fear or worry that often relates to a particular issue or concern. Okay actually benda ni selalu terjadi like out of nowhere tau. Sometimes we never expect that feeling comes to attack us. 

So here i want to share the fast facts about anxiety :

•    An anxiety attack usually involves a fear of some specific occurrence or problem that could happen.  
•    Symptoms include worry, restlessness, and possibly physical symptoms, such as changes in heart rate.  
•    Anxiety is different from a panic attack, but it can occur as part of an anxiety or panic disorder.

Just want to say, semua facts kat atas tu semua i pernah alami. Since when pun i tak sedar. Sebab dulu i tak pernah rasa macam ni. Sehingga lah i went to the clinic and doctor said "you have an anxiety girl!" hmmmm i was like, seriously? 

So, anxiety ni can be a response to a specific worry or fear. It tends to develop gradually, and a person is usually worried or concerned at the outset. It can be mild, moderate or severe. Yang ni terpulang la untuk setiap individu tahap dia macam mana. So there may be a sense that if only this problem can be solved, everything will be all right.

So the question is, can anxiety lead to panic?

* A person who has panic disorder may experience anxiety that they are going to have a panic attack. The uncertainty about if or when an attack is going to happen can lead to anxiety between attacks. For a person with panic disorder, anxiety may trigger a panic attack. The fear of having a panic attack can affect the person's behavior and ability to function in daily life. The APA suggest there may be a biological factor underlying panic disorder, but scientists have not yet identified a specific marker.*

Yes exactly true! Cuma beza dia, anxiety can occur in a specific situation but panic disorder will starts suddenly. But both of them are dangerous if we cant control it.

So you guys can check if you have a symptoms below :

• worry and apprehension
• restlessness
• sleep problems
• difficulty concentrating
• irritability
• sadness
• feeling pressure and hurried
• Physical symptoms include:
• changes in heart rate
• tension in the head or neck
• headache
• nausea or diarrhea
• sweating
• dry mouth
• tightness in the throat and difficulty breathing
• trembling or shaking
• feeling faint

Not every case of anxiety will include all these symptoms. So as i said before, anxiety can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the trigger and how the person reacts to it.

Anxiety often results from stress or feeling overwhelmed.

Common causes of anxiety include :

• work pressure
• financial pressure
• family or relationships problems
• divorce, separation, or bereavement
• concerns about parenthood or being a caregiver
• problems coping with administrative issues or technology
• changing life situations, such as moving house or changing jobs
• reduced mobility or physical function
• loss of mental function, for example, short-term memory
• having a diagnosis of a chronic health condition, such as multiple sclerosis (MS), diabetes, and others

It can also will be a factor or health condition, such as:

• social or another phobia
• obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
• post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• genetic factors
• major stress or susceptibility to stress
• changes in the brain
• a history of drug or alcohol abuse
• excessive caffeine use
• the use of some medications
• a recent or past traumatic experience

Triggers of anxiety could include:

• public speaking
• exposure to a phobia trigger
• a fear of having a panic attack

Sometimes, anxiety can also stem from a psychological disorder. 

But, for your information there are a few types of anxiety which are :

Panic disorder (PD): This involves at least two panic attacks accompanied by the constant fear of future attacks. People with panic disorder may lose a job, refuse to travel or leave their home, or completely avoid anything they believe will trigger an attack of anxiety.

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD): This is a constant state of worry about a number of events or activities in the persons life.

Phobic disorder: This features an incapacitating and irrational fear of an object or situation, for example, a fear of spiders or open spaces (claustrophobia). Most adults with phobic disorder are aware that their fear is irrational.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): This condition is marked by unwanted repeated thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions).

Unfortunately, all of these disorder, there are also have some of complications. 

The response that leads to stress and anxiety is designed to help us cope in difficult situations that arise temporarily.

Adrenaline is the hormone involved in the fight-or-flight response. A sudden release of this hormone prepares the body to flee from danger or to confront the danger physically.

Under normal conditions, adrenaline levels quickly revert to normal once the fear is removed. However, if anxiety continues and adrenaline levels remain high, further problems can arise.

Persistent stress and anxiety can lead to other problems, such as:

• depression
• an anxiety disorder

Ongoing stress has been linked to problems with the immune, digestive, sleep, and reproductive systems.

Physical health problems that may arise include:

• frequent colds and infections
• heart disease
• high blood pressure
• diabetes

So it is important to take action or seek help to reduce stress and anxiety if it becomes overwhelming or persistent. Really important!!!!!!!

Okay, here some of tips for managing stress and anxiety include :

Know the signs: If you know when to recognize the signs that you are stressed or overly anxious, you may be able to take some action. Headaches, an inability to sleep, or overeating may all be signs that it is time to take a break or ask for help.

Know your triggers: If you can learn to recognize what makes you feel anxious, you may be able to take action. Perhaps you have taken on too many tasks? Can you ask someone to help? Does coffee or alcohol make it worse? Consider cutting down.

Diet: A busy lifestyle can result in too much fast food or too little exercise. Try to make time to sit down to a healthful meal, or take a home-made lunch with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables to the office, instead of grabbing a burger.

Exercise: Sitting for long periods in front of a computer screen or while driving takes its toll. Try taking a 30-minute break and take a walk a day to boost your sense of wellbeing.

Learn some relaxation techniques: Yoga breathing, meditation, and other strategies can help reduce stress and anxiety. There is some evidence that the use of aromatherapy may help reduce stress, although further research is needed.

Try a new activity: Music, meditation, gardening, or joining a choir, yoga, pilates, or other group can ease stress and take your mind off your worries for a while. You may meet people with similar concerns who you can share your feelings with.

Be social: Spend time with friends and family, or find a group where you can meet others, for example, by volunteering or joining a support group. You may find they can provide emotional and practical support, as well as taking your mind off the problem at hand.

Set goals: If you are feeling overwhelmed with financial or administrative problems, for example, sit down and make a plan. Set targets and priorities and check them off as you resolve them. A plan will also help you say "no" to additional requests from others that you do not have time for.

Treatment options for anxiety and related problems include:

• cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
• medications, such as some types of antidepressants
• support groups for people with specific conditions

Anyone who feels overwhelmed by stress or anxiety should see a health professional for advice. Getting help early may help prevent other problems from arising.

If you are considering seeking professional help, it is important to see a properly trained and qualified person!!!!!

So guys, jangan biarkan ia melarat sekiranya anda mengalami antara symptoms diatas okay! Prevent better than cure!!!!

Okay tak habis lagi okay!

Anxiety also can attack some our part of body!

Anxiety can have a significant effect on the body, and long-term anxiety increases the risk of developing chronic physical conditions.

The medical community suspects that anxiety develops in the amygdala, an area of the brain that manages emotional responses.

When a person becomes anxious, stressed, or frightened, the brain sends signals to other parts of the body. The signals communicate that the body should prepare to fight or flee.

The body responds, for example, by releasing adrenaline and cortisol, which many describe as stress hormones.

The fight or flight response is useful when confronting an aggressive person, but it is less helpful when going for a job interview or giving a presentation. Also, it is not healthy for this response to persist in the long term.

Some of the ways that anxiety affects the body include:

Breathing and respiratory changes

During periods of anxiety, a person's breathing may become rapid and shallow, which is called hyperventilation.

Hyperventilation allows the lungs to take in more oxygen and transport it around the body quickly. Extra oxygen helps the body prepare to fight or flee.

Hyperventilation can make people feel like they are not getting enough oxygen and they may gasp for breath. This can worsen hyperventilation and its symptoms, which include:

• dizziness
• feeling faint
• light headedness
• tingling
• weakness

Banyak kali i kena attack hyperventilate this year!!! So hmmm i dont know how to say lah!!! 

Cardiovascular system response

Anxiety can cause changes to the heart rate and the circulation of blood throughout the body.

A faster heart rate makes it easier to flee or fight, while increased blood flow brings fresh oxygen and nutrients to the muscles.

When blood vessels narrow, this is called vasoconstriction, and it can affect body temperature. People often experience hot flashes as a result of vasoconstriction.

In response, the body sweats to cool down. This can sometimes be too effective and make a person feel cold.

Long-term anxiety may not be good for the cardiovascular system and heart health. Some studies suggest that anxiety increases the risk of heart diseases in otherwise healthy people.

Impaired immune function

In the short-term, anxiety boosts the immune system's responses. However, prolonged anxiety can have the opposite effect.

Cortisol prevents the release of substances that cause inflammation, and it turns off aspects of the immune system that fight infections, impairing the body's natural immune response.

People with chronic anxiety disorders may be more likely to get the common cold, the flu, and other types of infection.

Okay ini antara effects anxiety for our body!!! Bahaya bukan?? Actually tak expect boleh jadi seteruk ini dia punya effects. Tapi yang i tahu kalau kita tak control anxiety our mental la akan effect lagi teruk! Hmmmmmmmm. 

Alright! Meh sini i nak kasi tahu sikit the statistic people got this disorder.

Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. Almost 75% of people with mental disorders remain untreated in developing countries with almost 1 million people taking their lives each year. In addition, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), 1 in 13 globally suffers from anxiety. The WHO reports that anxiety disorders are the most common mental disorders worldwide with specific phobia, major depressive disorder and social phobia being the most common anxiety disorders.

Dia kan bila dah sampai jadi major and common tu ushh tak tahu lah i nak kata rileks la semua orang kena hahahha its not a joke girl!!!

But, anxiety disorders affect 25.1% of children between 13 and 18 years old. Research shows that untreated children with anxiety disorders are at higher risk to perform poorly in school, miss out on important social experiences, and engage in substance abuse. See? Budak lagi dah kena anxiety attack. Apatah lagi umur macam i ni haaa. 

Okay now i nak share statistic from National Institue of Mental Health among adults.

Prevalence of Any Anxiety Disorder Among Adults

• Based on diagnostic interview data from the National Comorbidity Study Replication (NCS-R), Figure 1 shows past year prevalence of any anxiety disorder among U.S. adults aged 18 or older.

            *An estimated 19.1% of U.S. adults had any anxiety disorder in the past year. 

            *Past year prevalence of any anxiety disorder was higher for females (23.4%) than for                  males (14.3%)

            *An estimated 31.1% of U.S. adults experience any anxiety disorder at some time in                      their lives.

Okay yang itu baru 2001 until 2003. Chart ni akan increase year by year and it happen majority range 17-18 years old. I hope you guys can handle before it become worst!

Did You Know guys?

• Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.
• Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.
• People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.
• Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.

FACTS ABOUT STATISTIC!

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
GAD affects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S. population, yet only 43.2% are receiving treatment.
Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. GAD often co-occurs with major depression.

Panic Disorder (PD)
PD affects 6 million adults, or 2.7% of the U.S. population.
Women are twice as likely to be affected as men.

Specific Phobias
Specific phobias affect 19 million adults, or 8.7% of the U.S. population.
Women are twice as likely to be affected as men.
Symptoms typically begin in childhood; the average age-of-onset is 7 years old.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are closely related to anxiety disorders, which some may experience at the same time, along with depression.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
OCD affects 2.2 million adults, or 1.0% of the U.S. population.
OCD is equally common among men and women.
The average age of onset is 19, with 25 percent of cases occurring by age 14. One-third of affected adults first experienced symptoms in childhood.

So as a conlusion guys, if there anything happen just tell to your close people!!!

Thanks for reading! Love yaa :-*

Life pattern!

Assalamualaikum semua hi selamat berpuasa. Harini bertarikh 27 May 2019 bersamaan hari Isnin pada waktu 2.30 petang. Hahahhaha just want to write in details. So that i know bila i tulis karangan  yang berjela ni nanti. Oh btw right now student UITM tengah cuti midsem plus cuti raya. You know what i just need a mood to write up in this blog. So that my writing have a cronology what happen next next until the end. So untuk dijadikan cerita i want to share what i had been through so far for this fourth semester. huhuhu dijangka atau tidak i masuk hospital bahagian kecemasan sebanyak dua kali. Sound like creepy but thats a reality. I got sesak nafas yang teruk sehingga dimasukkan ke hospital. Actually i dont know what is wrong with me for time being. I really lost myself. Hmmm but i know all of these happen have a reason. Since i sesak nafas tempoh hari disebabkan tekanan yang melampau overthinking mcm Gunung Everest, i need to take break so that i takde la pressure overlimit. Masalah i sekarang i cepat nervous and suka buat assumptions yang tak betul. Kiranya macam i suka sangat fikir diluar kotak HAHAHA tapi yang negatif. hmmm tak nak la kan kita pupuk untuk berfikir mcm tu. I dah cuba bukan tak cuba tau, im trying everyday to be a positive person, get a positive vibes from others. But sometimes i failed. I dont know how to stand stronger like before. That really dont care what people said i just live my own life happily. But now totally changes. I just hate myself.

Even tho banyak dah benda yang berlaku untuk jangka masa ni, hati ni semakin kuat untuk belajar menerima hakikat. Tapi itu pun akan mengambil masa yang agak lama untuk hadam dan belajar untuk redha. Penerimaan itu akan berbeza mengikut orang ada yang cepat ada yang lambat bergantung kepada peristiwa yang berlaku dalam hidup seseoarang sama ada teruk atau pun tidak. Ye bukan mudah untuk belajar menerima sesuatu yang agak sukar bagi kita untuk adapt, tapi thats a life. I really really need to be strong. No one knows how my feeling goes. But yeahh i percaya Allah tu dah susun atur cantik setiap hidup hambaNya. I really need to think positive right now.

Di bulan yang mulia ini, i iwsh that all my problems are clear and i get a place in internship soon! Aamiin.

Tak berjela pun sebenarnya. Just that im missing to write up the story. Right now kena banyak bercakap banding menulis. Tp tetap sama jugak dia mcm sama banyak berckp dan menulis. HAHAHHA im sorry guys.

'Hati selalu berbicara tentang kehidupan yang mempunyai onak dan duri dimana kita selalu tidak dapat menjangka dan menjangkau apa yang bakal berlaku. Namun aku tetap sedar bahawa semua itu adalah terbatas. Aku selalu berharap agar apa yang telah berlaku ini akan memberi kesan yang positive untuk yang akan datang. Tapi mengapa hati ini selalu mengatakan ianya adalah dusta? Adakah aku bersikap yang kurang optimis atau bersikap memilih atau demand yang terlalu tinggi? Mungkin dsitu ada jawapannya. Aku duduk bersendirian hanya untuk memikirkan apa yang akan terjadi pada masa hadapan, sama ada aku masih ada didunia ini ataupun tidak? Hati ini selalu menyangkakan sesuatu yang buruk akan berlaku tetapi ditegah sekeras kerasnya oleh suara hati yang berada paling dalam. Aku meyakini takdir ini adalah indah pada suatu masa nanti.'

LOL im crying while writing that. Tiba tiba je berair air mata ni. Just want to remind again, ini adalah takdir hidup kita. Ingat zaf! Hanya Allah mampu ubah segalanya. Lemah atau pun tidak itu pilihan kita! Iye actually penat sangat dah ni mental and fizikal kena berperang dgn inner self yang  tah apa apa tah. I think i need to read a lot books like before. Tapi sempat pun tidak masalahnya. Dulu iye la banyak masa. Nampak la jugak busy dia tu mcm mana. Sampai kesihatan pun terabai and orang pun dah naik meluat dgn you zaf. HAHHAHAHA pity you! :'(

Apa apa pun ------
STRONG AND SABAR! :')

Ushh buruknya muka!! hahaha.

Semoga wanita cantik dalam gambar ni terus kuat! i love you myself.

People will be matured with a lot of experiences!

Okay nanti raya kita OOTD mcm ni!

TAKDIR

Assalamualaikum everyone! Hehehe sorry dah lama tak update i got so many things to do and just busy on my studies and right now final exam weeks! Wish me luck dear!

Here we go! I  just want to share something with you guys. Since i got a lot of problems lately i feel so down and stress! So what we can conclude actually?? Alright like this. Everyone knows that Allah telah takdirkan hidup seseorang itu sejak azali kan. So apa yang membuatkan kita rasa mcm tak adil? Sebab kita tak dapat apa yang kita nak Allah cuma beri apa yang kita perlu. Yes i learnt so much things during  my studies here. Too much! Among of them is, sabar! Learnt! And improve! So dah boleh fikir kot kat situ kenapa. So apa yang membuatkan kita rasa mcm hidup ni tak adil pulak? First kita kena rasa bersyukur dgn apa yang kita ada, then sekiranya ada sesuatu yang kita rasa mcm tak cukup kita sabar! Allah bagi nanti. Allah akan bagi tepat pada waktu dan keadaan! Ye i feel like that too sometimes. But we are just human! Sometimes kita rasa tak bersyukur, kita rasa tak cukup, semua benda la kita nak complain! Kenapa?? Ye sebab kita tak bersyukur.

Walaupun kita byk kali give up, pernah terfikirkan mana dtg semangat tu utk kita bangkit? ye Allah yang bagi. Dia nak kita igt dia sentiasa. Kadang Allah bagi kita sedih sbb nak kita ingat Dia, kadang Allah bagi kita gembira sebab Allah nak uji kita. Semua benda yang berlaku semua ada sebab dia. Kita je manusia selalu sangat lalai, terleka dgn nikmat Dia bagi. Kita selalu sangat tersalah guna nikmat yang Dia bagi. Sebab kita sangat cetek tentang agama. Kita tak usaha hari demi hari untuk dekatkan kita dengan Dia. Kita selalu ingat yang kita ni dah sempurna sgt. Ye i feel like that too!

Jadi kenapa kita nak mempersoalkan takdir kita sedangkan kita dah nampak depan mata? Selebihnya biarlah Allah yang tentukan. Kita ni siapa? Apa hak kita nak complain? Lupakah kita tanggungjawab padaNya? Ye kita sering terlupa. Yelah semua dah dikaburi dengan nikmat dunia. Mengenai depression pun sgt tidak masuk akal. Dalam islam kita ada pegangan kita. Kemana kita tuju kalau kita mengalami tekanan? Bukan manusia, tp pada Allah sayang sekalian. Ssesungguhnya we need to be prepared no matter what happen in future because takdir telah tertulis!!! Life does not always work out as we plan, but it always works out the way Allah knows is best for us!!

Dearself, you need to be strong no matter what happen to you! you need to trust yourself! I know you can do it more than that. You are brave than you ever imagine. Please! Dont too weak! It will ruin you future soon! Whatever obstacle comes to your life, remember you have Allah you have your family and your supportive friends! Remember that okay! Its okay if you want to cry, just cry as much as you want but promise then you will get up and never give up! Just try again until you success! No one can stop you until you success with your goals!! Chase your beautiful dreams! Nothing is impossible! Dont easily to give up okay! You can do it dearself! You cant go back the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending! Nothing will work unless you do! I love you myself.

So to my friends, if you want to give up on something please think million times because you will regret another day! I hope we can do it together! You have to fight some bad days to earn the best days of your life. Goodluck :)